So while the drag show was a lot of fun, Steph's friends are fucking pieces of shit and shortchanged us so it forced me and Dee and our cousins to have to pay significantly more than we should have and now I'm kind of all sorts of angry. And maybe I shouldn't show it the way I obviously am, but fuck them, seriously. I can't stand people who fucking do that and force everyone else to pay a ton more and kfhfkfb.

After a convo with a friend about stuff, I worked up the courage, I guess if you can call it that, to tell guy that I'm actually not okay. I haven't been able to actually talk to him really, because I'm out and all, but I at least told him that I am honestly not fine. And I will probably tell him that I'm hurt he told me that I wasn't just a hookup when I told him my...reservations about that, and in reality that is really all I am, it feels. Though it is also hard just because I feel nothing lately and I can't even get excited about things that I should get excited about. That I keep having dreams and I can't get a good night's sleep and I feel disconnected from everyone.

And I'm not sure how to handle this.

So I had a brief time of being alright, because fabulous drag queens distracted me, and now I'm back to the disconnect and the emotionlessness. Fantastic.