Got home around 8:30 after dropping Matt off at his place and everything.  That GPS took us through Manhattan, which was probably still better than trying to take the GW, judging by the traffic that I saw at the exit I got off.  So, it was still a longer drive than it probably should have been, but it took a lot less time to get home than it did to get to Baltimore, which was...very much appreciated.  Seriously.

I bought some more prints today; a decent amount of Supernatural, one of Korra, a small Kenshin one, a Hellsing one, and some others.  I really didn't buy much but I never really do, now that I'm thinking about it.  Oh, and I did get a button which says 3.14 with the greek pi symbol underneath, and then next to it, it is mirrored, so it actually looks like the word pie, with a picture of a piece of pie.  I thought it was cute.

Also I got a picture of me with Ice Cold Water guy.  I was probably more excited for that than I should have been.  Don't judge me.

Pics will be up at some point.

Also Callie was super super happy to see me when I got back and was apparently a very good puppy while I was gone.  So yay.


I can't avoid it as easily anymore, and because of that, my stomach has been acting up and I've been shaking a little bit here and there.  I don't know what to do.  Nothing I can do feels right, really.

How can I explain to someone who hurt me so much all the emotions that fills me when I think about him?  The simultaneous conflicting feelings which make no sense when put together and yet I experience every single one of them.  Perhaps I crave them, because I have so many times of feeling nothing.  Just like a void, almost.

He has been able to call others his 'favourite.'  While I could never imagine using that term for anyone else that has come into my life at any point since.  And I hate that.

I just.

That email maybe should have helped me.  Yet I feel like I'm in a worse place than I was before.  Because before I had anger driving at the very least.  And while it hasn't been completely lifted...I don't know.  Anger has taken a backseat to sadness when looking at this whole thing again.

Still unsure what I will do...