I made myself unbearably sad now.

I'm just thinking about how I thought when we were together and after.

And how I thought he was so much better than me.  And - despite his imperfections - he was perfect to me.

And he didn't deserve to be sad like that.

But I, a truly imperfect person, deserved nothing but sadness.

I thought like this always.

And while I don't see him as perfect anymore.

I still sometimes think that I don't deserve to be happy.