I don't know how to do this assignment.  Bah.  I should have done more during the week.

Retreated to the computer lab because my roommate was in the office and fuck being in there with him.  Plus I wanted to play my music not with my headphones on, and since no one is in here, it is easy to do.

Session was needed and everything and went well.  And I saw the nutritionist again today.  I'm going to try to be more consistent with the eating.  When I told her that I'll use food as self-punishment, she told me that food shouldn't be seen as a reward-punishment system, since it is a necessity, and I should see it instead as a responsibility.

She recommended a clinic to me, but when I talked with my therapist about it, she said she's on the fence, because she says that is more for people with eating disorders, and although I have problems with food lately and I have some thought processes similar to people with EDs, she doesn't consider me firmly in that camp.  Since the food is linked with my perfectionism and my depression and stuff and doesn't stand on its own as much.  Or something.  Basically, I kind of have that too, but not really.  I don't know if that makes any sense.

I have a lot to think about with Airband, she said.  Because as much as I want to go, she asked me if I am ready for the possibility of seeing the ex there with his new person and I really...am not.  That image would just be burned in my mind if I ended up accidentally seeing it, and knowing me, I'd be looking for it, even subconsciously.  And that image would destroy my mentality and the whole weekend, most likely.  So I'm leaning towards not going, but..I don't know.  Maybe I'll change my mind.

Also, I told her about issues with my older sisters and stuff, and she gave me some advice on that as well.

We just chatted about a lot of things.  As usual.  It was good.  I'm really tired right now, though.

I feel guilty, too.  I said I was going to go eat immediately after, but then I figured I could wait for Brendan and Carl to be done with stuff and we could run out and get something.  That's not for another hour.

...I'm not hungry right now, anyway.