Brendan played a joke on my Methods professor today with some assistance from me and it was too funny. Basically when he submitted his review, he had a joke page in front which reviewed one of my prof's articles with a bunch of dumb shit and was really hysterical.  Prof got a really good kick out of it and everything, and we were all dying and it was so good.

Then we ran around to the doggie shelter (gave some treats and a blanket so woo!), and then to the arcade to play some House of the Dead (we're getting better and better at it aha) and buy some space invaders plaques for decorations, and then we went to that furniture store in Owego.  It was awesome.  There were so many fucking couches, man.  It was insane.  There was a sectional we really liked, and might actually look to get that one if we can.  We just need to double-check the dimensions of the rooms and everything and hope that it'll fit and all that.

We tried to do game theory when we came back but...uh...let's just say bargaining games are fucking difficult.  And the way a lot of questions are worded are kind of annoying and vague and I don't understand what the payoffs are supposed to be for a lot of these and it is really kind of annoying.

I wanted to go to the bar to see if musician guy was around, but Brendan decided to not come with me, since he wants to do more work.  I know I should do more work too, and I could always go next week or the week after to that bar...I'll probably run into him eventually, and I guess I could always just wait a little bit more until trying to run into him again.  I'm such a loser; I should just text him since I want to hang out with him and stuff but at the same time I...don't want to do that.  I don't know.

There's this itch to unblock and check his facebook - like it is making my stomach hurt kind of itch - that I can't seem to get rid of, but I know I should not give in and look.  Because all I'll see is relationship status and probably new picture with the two of them and it is just going to make me want to throw up and make me super angry and sad and I just don't want to.  And yet, thinking about it gives me the same fucking feeling, so I guess it wouldn't be too different from what I already feel.  But I still know that I shouldn't.

You know, when I was thinking about names for puppy, one that keeps popping up in my head but I don't mention as a possibility to anyone is Han.

Because it isn't really a possibility.

It was a foolish, stupid fantasy.

One that I realize now he never really wanted.