I went to the scholarship award night for my sister and I kind of felt like I was going through the motions.  Like, I am happy for her and was genuinely happy but at the same time I was sort of zombie-ish.  I don't know.  I have been tired all day and then I had a conversation with guy that put me in a really sad/down mood and everything earlier.

Basically, he comes across as very egotistical.  And he knows this.  But I advised him (after he inquired about my opinion) that he might want to recognize the line between confidence and arrogance, because arrogance is greatly disliked, and those who are arrogant are the least liked in the department, and you don't want that.  You want friends and professors who will want to write papers with you and everything.

And I don't know why but this conversation made me think of stuff and made me sad.  He remarked that he was guessing that I "know too many jerks" and that I was concerned for him.  When I told him that I do know plenty of those, he recognized that I was thinking of someone personal rather than saying that generally.  I apologized if I was insinuating that he would be an arrogant asshole, since I could see with that and with other things I said that that could be inferred.  He then said, "I just think you got hurt by a jerk, and are scared of it happening again."

I kind of stared at that for a little without a response, because he was right.

And then I did what I do a lot of times when feels start showing up: I ran away.

I went and played Halo for a few hours.

Luckily, he understood.  And even sent a cute kitty picture, which I appreciated.


Still though.