dream

This will probably be incoherent sine it is 6:30 in the damn morning but this nightmare I just had work me up in a really bad way and despite how fucking tired I am, I can't fall back asleep right this second.  I just don't want to return to that dream at all.

And of course, it was ex related.

I think we were in some sort of video game world.  Kind of like wreck-it-ralph's universe.  I don't know how we bumped into each other, but we did.  He begged me to meet him somewhere later so that we could talk, since I "never gave him a chance to" or some kind of bullshit like that.  Against the advice of everyone I fucking asked, I decided to go because I "wanted answers."

But...I don't really know if it was a trap or whatnot.  But what I thought was going to be a quiet balcony was actually this big pre-party for this game people were going to play in, and once we got there, I was ignored.  Completely.  And not only was I ignored but almost...villianously (idk what are words) so.  In that the more I became upset and started yelling, the more he enjoyed it.  It was sadistic.  That's the only thing I can use to describe it.

He started calling me names and saying I was insane and did this all in front of people so it all just looked really bad for both of us.  But the angrier I got, the more pleasure he derived from it.  The more pain I was in, the happier he was.

At one point I grabbed him by his hair as he was leaving with everyone else to go start the game, and slammed him against the wall.  I asked him why he even bothered bringing me down here, but all I got in return was an evil as fuck grin and him pushing past me and the whole thing was just absolutely terrible.

I was with his best friend at some point, who was also getting completely ignored and I remarked about how he thinks he's "too cool for us now" and something like that.


I don't want to go back to sleep.

I'm fucking terrified of my dreams.

I'm tired of seeing him in them.