I am kind of beyond pissed off at the moment.

So the trio was supposed to get together tonight to finish our work and bake cookies and just have a good time.  And since I've been feeling so down lately, I really did just want it to be the three of us.  I figure just hanging out with them would maybe help me feel better about things, especially since in my session today, I made note that their descriptions of me are what might be able to help me fight off the negative thoughts that I always jump to about myself.

However, two more members of our cohort decided they wanted to tag along.  Of these two, one of them is the one I'm not really liking, but the other I really enjoy.  I am equally pissed off at both of them, though.  Because instead of asking me, whose apartment we are at and said we were going to, both of them asked Brendan if they could tag along.

In other words, it was Brendan's approval, not mine, that they needed in order to come over to my place.

Obviously, if they had asked me, I would have said yes (albeit not too happily, but I wouldn't tell them no), but fuck you.  Seriously?  Fuck you.  You ask me, not my fucking friend, if you can come to my fucking apartment.  I know I probably should have said something (/still say something), but I know if I do right now I will explode, and I don't really want to do that at all.

I don't know if it is a dude thing, honestly.  Where it is some ingrained sexism where a guy's approval is enough even though the girl is the one actually hosting.  I might be reading too much into it on that, but that is the only vibe I got from the whole thing.

It's a shame, because after my session today, and after going to lunch with Carl, I was actually feeling a little better.  And now I'm back into my previous mood where all I want to do is curl up in bed by myself.  I really don't want people to be here at all right now and I'm just so fucking angry.