So my meeting with the nutritionist went really well today, which I needed after a somewhat stressful class and a very stressful night. But I'll get to that in a moment.
I was up until after 2 in the morning trying to work on coding in R yesterday, but I ended up giving up on it. It was too late and I was just too exhausted and I couldn't think anymore. In class today we went over the problems in STATA and I'm really unsure if I did them correctly, and I couldn't really follow what my prof was saying, so I started mentally freaking out and everything. I think he noticed that, because he looked really concerned when I went up to him during the break and asked if he was going to be around tomorrow so I could ask him questions. I just told him I was completely lost and maybe it is just because I'm exhausted - mentally, physically, and emotionally - and that is affecting my work. Then again, it could also be that I legitimately don't understand it, so I need to go over it a few more times. I want to go through some notes from last semester's Methods class and see if that helps too.
Though he then did an exercise with us to demonstrate random sampling and normal distributions which involved Hershey kisses and everything and that - along with his desire to really help me understand things - made me feel a little bit better.
I said something about the whole 'inviting people to my apartment' thing, and received an apology, which I'm happy with. Though I fear I may have stressed Brendan out because of it, and that isn't what I wanted to do at all. I was more angry with the people who asked him than with him specifically, because that situation can be awkward and all, and I should've said something to them as well. Really, I want to make sure he knows there's no bad blood between us or anything. Normally, I probably wouldn't have been as angry as I got last night, but my emotions have been just awful, so any small thing that seems to go wrong has a greatly amplified effect on my mood.
But, nutritionist time. She was really nice and cool (and the daughter of one of the political science profs, so...small world! Ish, aha), and gave me a plan and ideas on how to make myself consume more calories. She took my weight, though I don't know what it ended up being, because she had me stand with my back against the scale. So I'm planning on going food shopping later today to get some things. I just need to make a list of the things suggested (I'm going to try a few new stuff - since I don't like peanut butter I've been wanting to try almond butter or cashew butter instead!), and maybe a few more things I might just want. She did say that her main concern is getting me to eat more, because from the sounds of it, according to her, there are days where I'm consuming less than 1000 calories, which isn't good. But she didn't want to start me on anything too intense, since I need to casually build up again.
I was actually informed, when I said I would like to start working out again but just don't have the energy to do so, that it would be very unhealthy right now for me to exercise. That because I'm consuming so little, it would be more detrimental than helpful. (So, when I mentioned the 5k/half-marathon that my friends want to do, I was strongly advised to sit that out, because I'm not, nor will I be, most likely, at a level where I can do that.)
We made a schedule, sort of. So there are times in the day where I must leave the office to go get food. Alternatively, I could bring things to the office, but if I don't, I need to leave, get something, and return. I can't make excuses and stay without food. She's trying to get it so that I at least make lunch a regular thing.
In a little less than 2 weeks I'm going to follow up with her and see if there are any improvements. I'm hoping I can follow this, especially since she (and Nancy too) keep telling me that if I eat more, I won't be so exhausted all the time.
That'd be nice.
Oh! And I forgot to mention yesterday: a big chunk of my session was spent talking about my future dog and what I want and how dogs make me really happy and I think having a pet will be very good for me. I said (and was advised to try and do so) that I have been thinking about volunteering for a nearby shelter. Nothing too big, just walking and socializing, I think. But having animals around me would probably make me feel better a lot of times. I might try to go tomorrow or Friday and talk to someone about that!
Plus it'd be nice to be committed to something other than school.
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