Bleh

Part of me wants to talk to someone.  But at the same time, I really don't want to.  It'll probably just end up with me either a) hiding everything that I'm feeling or making it seem as though it is less of a problem than it is, or b) spilling everything and feeling even worse in the end.  Knowing me, it'd end up being option a.  Plus, I'm sure my friends would rather be having fun or be productive than listen to me.  So yet another blog post I guess it will be.  Ha, I'm so fucking lame.

I've just been having a rough last few days.

I'd rather just lie in my bed and watch tv or listen to music than do anything else.

For maybe the past week, I've gotten somewhat reclusive, it seems.  I just don't want to go out and do anything.  And yet at the same time I was sad about not being able to hang out and movie with Carl and Brendan.  My feelings are oddly...schizophrenic, if that makes sense.

That voice is yelling at me for not doing work and not going out and not just shaking this off.

I need to try and repeat this reminder that it isn't my fault I'm feeling like this, and sometimes that means I need to take a break and just stay in my bed.  The problem is when I stay in bed for too long, because that makes it more difficult to get out of.  (And I suppose this is both literal and metaphorical.)

Dinner hasn't been eaten.  I should probably get something, even though I really really don't want to...

I might just fall asleep super early tonight.  Maybe.


So far, what I've listened to of "All My Friends are Enemies: Early Rarities" is fantastic.  Really happy I bought this.