So my judicial politics prof apparently thinks that my new topic is "a very large switch" into an area that I have little prior knowledge about, and thinks that I therefore should not do it.  However, me being me, while this is discouraging, it makes me just want to do it even more, just to prove him wrong and to do something that not many people have done.

And of course, he did also remind me that it is very late in the semester and I have "very little done" on my paper and that he can only do so much in terms of extensions otherwise I'll have to take an incomplete and I am kind of aggravated that he felt the need to remind me of that even though in the beginning of the year I asked if this would be okay and he said fine and it just felt like an unnecessary comment and it is really kind of upsetting.  Part of me wants to say something to him and another part of me wants to run up to Nancy and ask her what I should do because things like this just make me feel worse and discourage me and make me think that this really is not what I should be doing with my life and if that is the case I ought to just quit and then disappear because it means I have failed.

If it comes down to me taking an incomplete you can bet your fucking ass that I will be asking for some sort of note from the counseling center and ask them to help me as much as possible because this whole acceptance and ignorance of depression and anxiety stuff in academia is a bunch of bullshit.  I'm trying to pull through, I really am.  It is just fucking hard, and I'm sorry that I'm not able to do it like I once was able to.


...Maybe tomorrow instead of my filibuster paper I'll go through this idea for my workshop instead.  Then I can get other people's feedbacks before I start it officially, or something.


I might run up and see if Nancy is free at all.