One of the few good things about being back in Binghamton is my bed.  Holy fuck it is comfy and so much better than my bed at my parents' house.  And my duvet just enhances it even more and it is fantastic.

I do think that Callie is sad though; after the initial burst of excitement from seeing everyone, she then became very lethargic and kept looking all depressed and just wasn't really herself.  I think she just misses my parents and Jack and my sisters and the backyard and all that fun stuff.


Really, I was thinking about some shit before while walking Callie, none of which were very good.  About how I am probably nothing but a huge burden to most of my friends, and how none of them really would be too broken up if I were gone.  I don't blame them if that fear is actually true.  Like I said in a recent precious post, I do not exactly put effort into my friendships.  And not because of any of my friends, really.  It is just a cultivation of my own insecurities and depression and a fear of being too close to anyone.

Then again, when I do not see people for a long time, I get very excited when I see them and then I realize I just word vomit all the time to them and it is probably annoying as fuck.

And, continuing my trend of ex-related shit, I realized (or really acknowledged, I suppose) that there is a certain line in a certain Streetlight song that really sits with me:

The saddest day I came across was when I learned that life goes on without me.

In that song, I identify more with Annie than Tomas, and sometimes it is hard to really listen to his words.