One of these days I am going to burn down my house due to my horrid cooking skills.

When you leave oil heating up at a temp that is too high, you will not notice the massive amounts of smoke surrounding you and spilling into the living room while you prep your chicken cutlets.  Only until you turn around to check something will you notice.  And then freak out, open all the windows possible, and tell the fire alarm to "not go off" a second before it does.

Oops.