Once again, I threw myself into my work today and was incredibly productive.  Way more than I ought to be when I am feeling as shitty as I am, really.  But the whole "keeping a list of things to do in a planner" has been working so far, despite that it has only been...what, two days?  Still, it is a good sign that I am already almost finished with Thursday's readings and wrote up my response for Wednesday's class and everything.  Tomorrow on the agenda is to finish Thursday's readings and write up a lesson plan for my workshop with the first years this week.

Matrix Algebra.  Woo!  Should be interesting.

I paid way more attention to the puppy bowl than the superbowl and I am okay with this.  Because the puppy bowl is just so much cuter and better.

No one came over though.  While I was fine with that, I could tell roommate was disappointed.  Sadly for him, I'm not the best company when it comes to football games, even when I'm feeling okay.  So feeling terrible and just wanting to work all day basically made me the worst to be around probably.  I was trying to not act like I felt as terrible as I did and still do, but in doing so I had to keep my mind distracted.  So I wasn't very talkative or anything.


Former friend-guy sent me a message saying that he still feels terrible and that he keeps trying to think of ways to make things up to me (while also knowing that is impossible).  He offered to cook for me, since he knows about my food issues and I will not lie and say that I've been good about eating within the last few days.  He also mentioned how he hasn't slept properly in days and that he is sorry again, and that he really wants to make things right.

I haven't responded because I do not know how to.  I don't want him to cook for me or anything like that.  When we would get together to cook and nom it was fun in that we were hanging out and eating became not...well, a chore.  He is right; he can't make this up to me.  Even if I were to say "alright, this are better again," I wouldn't trust him again, really.  He should know the extent of what he did, since I specifically mentioned to him that it paralleled what the ex did.

It is unfortunate, though, that I do miss hanging out with him already.  Meh.