I kind of wish I had the conviction to do something drastic with my appearance.  I kind of admire people who go from having long hair and then decide to spontaneously buzz it all off and everything.  Or people that just go get tattoos and don't need to sit around contemplating when and where and how much it would cost and all that.

This idea of dying my hair has been coupled with a partial desire to restyle it but I don't really know what to or anything, and I would want to keep it long.  Really, I hate my hair short and I just think it makes me look like a child.  Some of my other girlfriends have short hair and they look fucking badass with it, but I feel like I just get ten years younger when I do it, which is not what I am aiming for at all.

Bah, I don't know.  I just keep wanting to change something or do something big with my appearance, since I don't really do anything like that despite always having this secret desire to.

I'm just really really...unhappy with my life and who I am and everything, so I keep hoping that maybe I can do something, but I'm also afraid to do anything drastic because I suck at everything.

The self-loathing is out in full force tonight...I'll blame that on sickness and lack of medication for the weekend.  I really should remedy that tomorrow.


Put my bigger tv back in my room since the biggest tv which was downstairs has been relocated to the living room.  So since mine was no longer being used, I put that back in here.  Now maybe I'll use my smaller one for like...dual-monitor purposes or something.  That could be cool to try and do.


Also Star Fucking Hipsters.  Pretty sweet.