Defriended from facebook because I really can't stand seeing anything being posted.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better for me to deactivate facebook for a while, but I know that I would not last for very long doing that.

I'm still incredibly sad and kind of keep walking around almost in a daze.  I think it is still shock over what happened; it is kind of similar with how I felt for the first week or two after the ex dumped me.  Where I keep thinking that things will be okay and that this really isn't the betrayal that it obviously is.

And my roommate keeps asking if I am okay and I am so shut down that even talking to him about this stuff just seems like so much effort and I don't want to do it.

I know I promised that I would take care of myself and that I wouldn't shut down, but I don't see why I should take care of myself, since I apparently have a horrid judge of character and everyone is going to leave anyway, probably because something is wrong with me.  And shutting down is just kind of...happening, I suppose.  Really, I just want to lay in bed and watch television all day and do nothing.  But I have a response paper that I stupidly signed up to do for this week, so I'd like to get my readings all done and everything.

Maybe I'll take Callie to the park today.  Maybe by taking care of her I can pretend I'm taking care of myself.