Another day of throwing myself into my work.

After going through my response paper with roommate, I realized I had to revamp my argument and everything.  I feel bad, because since he was attacking my stuff I got kind of defensive and hostile, and that was more because I just really did not want to redo it, but...yeah, I do see all of his points.  And only being given two double-spaced pages with 1 inch margins and size 11 font...I can't really go into a lot of details or a lot of points.

So spent some time doing that, and I was also able to finish my readings for Thursday.  I wasn't able to write out my lesson plan though, so I'll try and do that during my office hours tomorrow.


I don't feel close to anyone right now.  Not even roommates, really.  I guess I feel closest to them, but still not close.  That probably comes from what happened last week with friend and I'm pretty sure I have shut down, because the last few days I've felt this almost...exhilarating emotionlessness.  Pouring myself into work has made me not interested in tackling my own issues with myself or talking it out with friends or anything like that.  And I've become less interested in eating at regular times and eating regular meals and instead have nothing all day and then gorge on stuff when I get home, etc., etc.  

It is an empty feeling, really, one that still does not completely purge the self-doubt and sadness from me, but it is better than wallowing and being super sad and unproductive, I suppose.

Really, my roommate has been asking me how I've been and if I want to talk and I just...do not want to.  And it isn't about him.  I don't really want to talk about it with anyone.  Except, ironically, the one person I should not be talking to about it?  Though I did re-open a discussion with him because...well he is extremely apologetic, and I am a huge sucker.  You'd think I would have learned from my experiences with the ex.

But no, closeness is a drug to me, so I latch onto it until it almost kills me.