I returned home to Binghamton about an hour ago and I am a little sad now, simply because I am away from Streetlight and away from a place that I really feel like I belong and I'm back to having to do work and that apathy hit me so suddenly and everything.

Friday and Saturday were both absolutely incredible and I will post pictures at some point.  Once again someone got my number and I feel bad now because while my intentions were good at the time, I now feel no desire or need to respond to his texts or anything.  I feel bad, but I just...that is my emotion towards practically everyone, at this rate.

I don't know why I bother giving it out, since I just don't want to respond to anyone, really.

Though concerts are really where I feel at home.  It is strange, but they really are where I feel most comfortable.  They are where I actually feel alive and like my life matters.  It is weird, because all I really am is a face in a crowd of fans, but I still get this overwhelming feeling of warmth and belonging which I rarely feel anymore.

Although Tomas' solo show is on a Sunday during finals time, I really am thinking about trying to go, simply because I want that feeling back.  It is almost like a high, dragging me away from the emptiness and sadness I normally feel.


I'm also thinking about doing something really stupid but it is kind of nagging me, since something made my stomach drop.  Also, nothing yet.