Computer Problems

So I need to wake up early tomorrow and see if and where I can get my computer checked out because it isn't recognizing the charger and so I can't really use it. I'm hoping a wire in the charger just snapped, because then it is a relatively easy fix, and all I need to do is get a new one. However, a part of me is worried it is the port, and I really hope that isn't the case. I'm kind of annoyed; my laptop and its accessories are not even 2 years old yet. But I guess shit happens sometimes.

I haven't done any of my work today, really. It is bad because I neither want to do any nor care enough to do it.

For some reason, he has been on my mind hardcore since I actually came home. To the point where a part of me has been really tempted to unblock his fb page but I'm trying to fight that urge because it is a terrible terrible idea.

I am just frustrated; how can I allow thoughts of him to permeate my mind so much right after I was able to have a great weekend and everything with a friend? How? And why? Why does this still happen? I'm sure it is not the same on his end. I probably do not enter his mind and make him sad in the same fashion he does me.

It is funny; many people constantly tell me how important I am and how much they love me. I'm told that I'm awesome and that I'm fun and funny and a whole bunch of other good things. Hell, even after I've described how I was in terms of being a girlfriend, people expressed that I was really good in that department. But despite all this, I just don't believe it myself. Partially because I never have, and partially because he once said all those things to me too. He once said all that, and that he wouldn't leave me, and that he loved me and cared about me more than anyone.

So I am skeptical of people who say those things. Because I wonder when it will stop being true for them, as it stopped for him, and they will also leave.

Bah. I don't know how I've had a 180 mood swing from before to now. It is as though I was in some sort of fantasy that I've been sucked out of. And now I'm back to reality.

And I just want to return to the fantasy.