All day I have felt as if I was going to throw up and so I have not eaten anything other than a small snack when I came home but I know I should try to eat something even though it is nine.  Because of that I skipped out on going to get food and drinks with some people and I am okay with that. 

The other reason I decided to skip out is because if I could avoid spending any more time with roommate's girlfriend, the better.  She is seriously just getting worse and worse with the whole jealousy thing, to the point where my other roommate has called her obsessive.  Which captures it entirely, I think.  Even when he and I are just walking next to each other, she feels the need to push in between us and I kind of want to smack her but I know that I can't do that.  

Honestly the only thing that keeps me from saying anything about this to her or to roommate is because I do not want him to feel weird.  I just don't want him to leave and not want to hang out with me because she can't get over this petty jealousy. 

I really want to tell her that if I wanted to get with him, I would have already done it.  He's like a brother to me, at this point.  He was never an option for me, so I never saw him in that light.  

Bah.  I know I shouldn't care, but it is really fucking awkward whenever she is here and I hate it. 

I was rereading some old entries from back in March, and...the amount of emotion I feel like I have in those in comparison to the last two months or so is kind of astounding.  To be fair, much of that emotion was deep sadness, but there seemed to be more feelings and more volatility in those feelings, whereas now I just kind of write with a sort of "meh" quality.  Because that is how I feel all the time.  Which is why some of these entries seem to get repetitive. 

Been almost a month.  Not surprising.