I have been really sad today, which is not different from most days, I suppose.  It just sucks, again as I said, that I went from the high of this weekend back to this terrible feeling which makes me just want to lay on the couch and wrap myself in blankets and do absolutely nothing.  Which I cannot afford to do this week at all.

This sort of mentality and everything has actually gotten me somewhat worried: usually before class, my professors ask if we have any professional questions.  So, today, I inquired as to whether or not, when you go on the market, if they can get your medical history and then choose based on that.  And while I was pretty sure that is illegal, I just wanted...to double check.

Really I keep wanting to drop hints at "hey look I just feel awful all the time so please don't be mad at me if I can't do some things on time or sometimes act like I don't give a fuck about anything."  But at the same time...meh.


...I ought to get to grading things.

Also some good news: it was my charger that was the problem, so I got a new one and now things are good.  Huzzah.


Also tomorrow.  It is bad that the thought of tomorrow, like last year, still makes my stomach churn.  It shouldn't.  I already endured this date last year but it still doesn't feel as though it has gotten better or much easier, even though it should.  Ha.  I suck, with this bullshit.  Why do I have to acknowledge its existence and let it get to me.