"It really seems like you dodged a bullet.  He's not the type of person anyone should want to marry.  He seems like the type that after 10 years would just get up one day and leave, and you don't want someone like that."

My friend telling me this really does help me think that maybe I did escape something that could have been disastrous for me.  I don't think I would be able to handle my partner just up and abandoning me like that; I was barely able to handle it when he was just my boyfriend.  If we had been together longer and had a marriage commitment, I definitely would not have been able to deal.  And he is definitely the type that would do that.  He is definitely the type that would just up and leave a person that he claimed he wanted to spend his life with and loved more than anything and anyone in the world.  He is that type, because he did it to me, and basically tells me I should have expected it because I "took a risk" when we started our relationship.

That taking a risk thing is such shit and he should be ashamed of himself for using that to justify his quick and bullshit shift in feelings and basically saying that I should have expected it when I told him "you made me feel worthless."  Like I wasn't worth his time or his love.  He has a ton of nerve fucking telling me that basically it is alright that I felt like that, because hearts get broken and "that's just what happens."

People who say that are people who don't care what they fucking do to others.  He doesn't care, if he could dare use that shit justification towards me.   

He's right: he is not worth my friendship.  I deserved way better than what he gave to me, even with all my self-hatred.  I deserve better explanations than what I am getting now.  I deserve someone who, when he tells me that he loves me and only wants to be with me, fucking means it.

He is a mistake that I wish I never made, but I cannot erase.