Return

Returned home about a half hour ago.  Cruise was all sorts of fun, though I was concerned about the fact that there were days where I either felt sad or listless or...nothing.  Yeah, that happened, unfortunately.  But I guess that is what happens when I go with no meds that I probably should be on, ha.  And I never really felt that super great euphoria that I felt on my last cruises.  But that is based on how I've been and the fact that I feel like I am in a low point in this emotional roller coaster that is me and all.

But it was a lot of fun.  Went snuba-ing (a combo of snorkeling and scuba diving) in St. Thomas, visited a castle in San Juan, and drove a dune buggy in Grand Turk.  Also bought a lot of booze for friends and stuff.  And for me, of course, despite the fact that I haven't been drinking much aha.  To my credit, all I bought for myself was some Malibu Coconut Rum and Crystal Head Vodka, which I've always wanted to try but have not been able to.  Bought guy some Appleton Rum and some little things of Patron, only the first of which he is aware of.  He wanted to pay me back but I insisted that he let it be a gift and all.  And then I bought some stuff for other friends as well.

Something I kind of liked was that I had a cruise guy sort of?  No romantic things happened because I said that I had a potential thing back home (and also because honestly a week-long romance seems dangerous; I did that once before at CONA with Brooks and I was kind of a huge mess and devastated afterwards, despite knowing that distance and only knowing each other for a week would prevent anything).  But he was really sweet to me.  He was always looking for me and talked to me about nerdy things (he got really excited once I said I played Halo and started going into details about other games, and he would be like "oh I'm sure you've never watched/played it..." but then would mention DBZ and I'd get all nostalgic and talk about how Vegeta was my favourite and my crush even though he was a huge dick aha).  And he would tell me I was interesting and pretty and we did talk about exes (he asked me) and things he told me made me smile and stuff.  He really really appreciated my interests aha, especially since the two friends he was with didn't like the same things.  I don't think they liked me very much though, since whenever I showed up, he would move away from them and chill with me.  And I wouldn't mind hanging out with them, but he always gravitated to me, aha.  But it was kind of...really nice to have someone who was so interested in me and just wanted to hang out with me, even though there was little possibility for anything sexual to happen, and he was aware of that.  He just...seemed to enjoy my company.

And on days where I would wake up after a dream about the ex, that was kind of really nice.  Because those did happen, and it was particularly annoying because I was surrounded by blue as fuck water and knew that he would love that and all.

But then cruise guy would show up, and it would pass.  Or I'd think about Binghamton guy, and it would definitely pass.  Because he also loves the water and the beach so it was nice to think that he would like it and he would love to be on the boat and would have fun and everything.

Did get more work done on the boat than I did in the week beforehand too.  That's weird, but it worked out!

I'll probably post some pictures and stuff later, but right now I'm waiting for laundry to finish so I can head up to Dee's tonight for Callie.  I was told she kind of destroyed some stuff and I know it was probably because I've been gone for too long and stuff.  Also I miss her and want to see her.