We were at some thing for school where we had to give some sort of speech, and I remember wanting to talk to him about something, and I'm not entirely sure why. But he was there with his girlfriend, and they, for some reason, had me included on their text chain. She told him that she thought it was pathetic that I paid attention to them, and always did something with her hair whenever she saw me in order to get my attention and all. Basically she seemed to enjoy my misery.
He agreed, though. He wrote back that I was a loser and pathetic and all of that. And when I saw their conversation, I had some sort of panic attack. And I took him out into the hallway and started screaming at him. I was crying and yelling and he did not seem to care. He just looked absolutely bored. And then when I said that I had fantasies about hurting myself just to make all the sadness go away, he didn't believe me. Instead, he accused me of saying that just to get his attention and to try and win him back. And with a disgusted look, he walked away from me.
I don't know if someone heard or what because then I was put in a room with a shrink, but it wasn't Nancy so I was really really uncomfortable. I didn't want to talk about anything and she just kept asking me what my plans were, as if me not having plans meant I was lying about everything. I had to give details on how I would do it if I decided to go through with it; that was the only way she would believe me, because she said that she talked to the ex, who said I was doing it all for attention and nothing more. And she believed him over me.
And then she called my parents and told them everything. But the only good thing about this dream was my dad then coming over and hanging out with me, trying to cheer me up and trying to keep me happy. He is consistently who always tries to help me, even in my dreams.
There are some other deets involving the ex and his girlfriend, but I don't remember all of them right now and I also am incredibly tired so I want to go back to sleep. Even though at the same time, I'd rather just stay awake. I don't want to have part two of this thing. It was even worse in there than I described here, seriously.
Good thing about this morning is that Callie looks like she has more of a spring in her step than yesterday. I hope it was just a day bug and now she is okay. If she throws up at all I'm going to call the vet.
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