I realize how harsh I have been when it comes to certain things with the house and the pets and stuff and that that can be unfair at times.  That there are ups and downs and people help out when they can and you help out for them and everything works out hopefully okay.  I may have some different opinions or ideas about things but my way isn't the right way for everyone, and I should acknowledge that more than I sometimes do out of my frustration.  Which is the product, usually, of various small things that add up because I do not talk about them, or of unrelated issues that I am not handling very well and so everything in my life suffers.

I should probably work on that, really.  I am sorry to people who have to deal with my mood swings and my desire to be left alone and the apathy towards everything and stuff.  I am.  Things have just not been good to me this semester.  I'm trying though.  I am.  I have bad days a lot still, but I am trying.


Fun thing today: Callie and I were the only ones at agility today, because everyone else had other obligations, which meant we pretty much got a private lesson, which was really awesome.  She got a good mental workout in, and we were able to do something together.  When I told the trainer she has been sassy in the past few days and explained that I've been busy, he said that he wasn't surprised that she was acting up.  Because I have trained her to think and want those mental workouts instead of just physical ones.  And also she wants to work and play with me more often than I have been available lately.  So I said that even with finals and everything, I'll still try to do a little more than I've been with her in the past week or so.

She was an angel when we came home too, so...yeah it is probably that she's been bored.  He said that she was acting up or just trying to show me some behaviour so that I would pay attention to her.  Which makes sense, honestly.

I was also really flattered when the trainer said that he recognizes how well I read her and how I adjust my own behaviour when she is tired or distracted and that I am overall very patient with her and that not a lot of people have that sort of relationship with their dog.  That she and I have this special bond and that it is easily noticed by how I communicate with her and change things according to her needs and abilities at certain times.  And that I had done a really good job with her.  Roommate echoed this sentiment also.

And both times that made me really happy.

Because maybe - despite how I feel a lot of times - I really did do a good job.