Despite thinking that this idea is actually really cool and combines two different sets of literature from two different disciplines, I'm having an incredibly difficult time figuring out how to structure this paper.  Should I frame it as an international relations theory, or a cartel parties theory?  Really, it is a merger between the two but I'm just not sure how to go about structuring it.

Which of course, sucks.

Man, I just want to do nothing and go to sleep and play video games.  Maybe if I write up some bullshit that isn't formal but gets my point across and then I can formalize it tomorrow or something.  I don't know.  This whole thing is probably going to be shit because that is what I produce.  Just a bunch of garbage that sounds good until I actually write it.  Then it turns into crap.


God.  Damn.

Why can't I just do this.  Why is finding the drive to do this so fucking difficult for me.

I know exactly where the fuck I want this to go.  I just can't figure out how to fucking put my ideas into writing right now.

I don't deserve to be a scholar.