I'm really really really hoping classes get cancelled tomorrow.  Not only because I don't want to teach, but because I put it in my head that a snow day would happen and so I did no work for them.  Oops.  I'll get up semi-early to see what the status is and see if I need to speed-prep and stuff.  I'm worried now because it said it was supposed to snow at 9 and its only just kind of started.  But there is all night and tomorrow, so...here's hoping.

I also like snow.  My favourite type of weather/scenery is at night, somewhere dimly lit, and there are those really big flakes that stick to the ground falling somewhat heavily, but also gently, if that makes sense.  And bonus if there is already at least some snow on the ground and nothing has been plowed yet.

I know it is weirdly specific but it just feels...I don't know.  Peaceful.  And everything is beautiful and I get really calm and stuff just watching the snow fall and it is the best and why couldn't that happen tonight wahh.


Nancy told me about a conference she went to that was specifically with women academics and professionals, and she talked about how there was one person on the panel who was very similar to me.  She talked about how disillusioned and disconnected she felt from her department and everything in general, and how she suffered from burnout and eventually allowed herself to not need to do perfect in everything.  And that was the first step for her in terms of being really happy.

Then, a lot of them apparently talked about how they pushed through to get the piece of paper that grants you the 'Dr.' title; that piece of paper gave them more freedom to pursue things that they wanted to do afterwards.  A lot of them decided to do things other than academia, and they skipped around to different things to have new experiences and figure out what their passions truly were.

It was nice to hear, since I'm struggling with that and right now it is the way I'm thinking.  Get the degree and then just...do something different for a while.  Something fun.  Something where I get to explore and find out more things about myself and all that kind of corny shit.  Go off the grid and just...do whatever.  Not nothing.  But something different.