The only productive thing I did all day was go to the doggie park with the pups and roommate and take pups out for long walks.  Other than that, I sat around, watched Once Upon a Time, played Fire Emblem, got excite about film adaptation of The Giver (though less excite when I saw certain casting choices and also some changes being made), and...that's about it.

And I restarted reading a book that Nancy gave to me a while ago, which I think is a good idea for me, since it is all bout self-compassion and I have been severely lacking in that as of late (well...I guess I always am, but...I don't know).  I suppose that is productive.

Maybe tomorrow I will hole myself in my room in an attempt to get things done for Monday.  Since I really do need to do that and everything.  Gotta figure out when my office hours will be, should set up an appointment with doctor to talk to him about medication and stuff (which is still working in that I usually don't feel deep despair, but I seem to still be in the emotionless rut most of the time...I don't know what exactly to do about that).

I have started trying to eat better, though when I'm hanging out with roommate who only eats desserts and junk food, it is hard to stay that way.  I've been eating toast in the morning, and I've been making grilled chicken salads (usually just the grilled chicken, spinach, and spring mix all together with some dressing)  for either lunch of dinner, and trying to have something else decent for the other meal.  Though today I dropped the ball, because roommate kept tempting me with cookies that were delicious and I kept nomming.  Which I then felt guilty about.  I feel like I have gained some weight, even if I still fit into my 0 pants, and some part of me really is resistant to that.  Which is weird and scary.  I was getting too thin, I was told this many times.  But...I don't want to gain anything.

Then again, trying to eat healthier rather than trying to eat less is a good sign.

My relationship with food is really weird.


...

I saw something about a shooting in a mall in MD.  And I googled it just to see where it was, hoping it was far away from College Park.

Heh.

Is that a good thing for me to check, despite my anger and all?