I am and have been in a fog for the entire day today.  Despite wanting to curl up and cry, I can't even muster the energy or willpower to do that.  Of course, I ran into former friend-guy in the hall, and I just passed him quickly, trying to not look at him.  I do wonder if he still feels as bad as I do.  Probably not.  People always seem to feel bad for one day and then are totally fine the next when things like this go down with me.

Unsurprisingly, my emotions caused me to not eat anything until after class, at around 5.  Roommates went with me, and I just had some grilled cheese and fries.  I have had some soda and stuff throughout the day also, but I know that is almost empty calories, not really giving me anything of value.  Maybe I'll have a totally unhealthy snack, but I don't even want that, really.

I was thinking about trying to see Nancy tomorrow, but I know during the year she is really busy, and Friday mornings might be hectic for her.  I'm not sure.  Maybe I can go in and just ask, and if she is busy, I can go into the computer lab and do some work or something like that.  I should do things...I wanted to tonight but my mood and lack of eating has made me incredibly tired, and so I'm finding it difficult to focus.

Even during judicial politics - a class I really am looking forward to - I could not get out of my haze.  And due to my being in a very low state, I did something that I'm not sure if I should have done.  On his syllabus, it mentions how if anyone has any physical, emotional, mental, etc. illness, they should let him know within the first week, in case they need extensions on things because they find it difficult to get things done on time.  So I went and told him about my condition.  Even though maybe I shouldn't have because of reasons.  But I did, because if I need an extension on something (which I have needed in the past), I don't want to have to try and fight for it later on.

I'm just very sad.  And I keep wanting to text him?  But I can't, because all I really want to text him is more questions and more anger and all that.

Why'd he have to do this?  This is the worst thing he could have done.  I was really enjoying hanging out and watching silly shows and cooking together and playing Diablo and things actually felt okay, even if I was still very sad a lot of times.

And now all that is gone.

Hah, this really is two years ago, replayed.  Though a less severe manifestation, for very obvious reasons.

Still though, it really hurts.  And sucks.  And I want to run and hide and go back home to Long Island and be with family.  Or to Wisconsin to be with best friend.  I know roommates are here for me, but...in an almost stereotypical way, I really need a girl friend to be with me right now.

This really has set me back in progress quite a bit.