I finished the storyline in Awakening and started a new save file on hard difficultly, especially since I just realized that using a second seal on someone who is at level 20 in their advanced class can just put them back to level 1 of that class with no stat decreases.  In other words, I could have been continually building up people rather than having them just stay at level 20.  So now I know for this playthrough.  I'm still playing as a female rather than male avatar, and I'm okay with this, because there are other dudes I want to romance and stuff, despite my loving the royal family that my previous avatar and Chrom had.


Once again, I am having a day where moving around takes way more effort than it should, so I am reduced to a lump on the couch, trying to not fall asleep while I stare listlessly at the television.  It is just a cycle, I guess.  I know I ought to get up and do things but I didn't have the willpower or energy to do so today.  Maybe it is also because it is raining out.  I don't know.

Thoughts of doing that bad thing have been prominent today, which is kind of terrible because it just makes me go from bad to worse and I'm not really sure what it is.  Maybe all that talk about not being able to start something with friend got to me.  Or this is just how I am most of the time.  It just seems particularly bad today.  Maybe I just need a change of scenery.  I feel like a lot of times, I get worse when I'm in one place for some time.

Man, this all sounds melodramatic and self-pitying and shit, I know.  It's annoying.  Which is why I don't really talk to many actual people about it.