Although I have spent all damn day coding, I still feel as though I have not gotten nearly enough done and that is worrisome and annoying.  And just shows how damn shit I am at everything.

Bah, I just feel inadequate.  Again, the lack of productivity on my own stuff does not help.

Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to just go into the private sector.  Not everyone wants a political scientist, though.  But perhaps my statistical skills and ability to handle data involving human beings would be of use somewhere.  I don't know.

But then I think about it and just get sad with that idea too because it isn't what I want.  Then again, I barely know what I want anymore.  I have no idea what my future looks like; right now it is a dark blur which I cannot seem to see through.

I've been so down in the past few days.  Part of it is directly a result of ex-related thoughts (which is especially frustrating given I should not be having those), part of it is from work, and I guess part of it is just from being back in Bing.


Also Callie did super bad on her recall training today.  So yay.  I'm also a shit trainer.

(I should go to agility tomorrow.  Maybe she is just cooped up and stuff.  I don't know.)


Oh, and first sign birthday might just be a repeat of disappointing times: college roommate is working all weekend.  Wooo.


I just am kind of pouting and shit today.  And feel sad, I guess.