Today I had a visit with my doctor, and I was telling him about how things have been going.  How I'm still really listless and don't care about much and I'm tired a lot, and how I want to just run away and how I'm annoyed at everyone for everything and all.  We chatted for almost an hour about things, and agreed to augment my meds with something new in addition to what I'm already taking.  What I'm already taking takes care of seratonin levels and all, while the new stuff focuses on dopamine and norepinephrine.  So, hopefully I will be able to have more of a positive response with the addition of this new thing.  I dunno.

Hopefully.  I just want to not be so goddamn unhappy anymore.

And roommate I think is having a bad day but I just want to be alone so I actually said that I just wanted to hang out in my room by myself instead of going out and doing work in the living room and I dunno I probably made him sadder but I really just want to be by myself and I am a terrible friend.

I'm thinking I might ask if my two older sisters want to meet for lunch this weekend in Albany or something.  That might be fun.


Also, I was talking with one of the fourth (fifth?) years, who is currently working on her dissertation, and I was explaining my indifference towards everything and how I'm pretty much done with being in an all-male cohort, and she said that she would email me and that we should go to lunch sometime next week and that was probably the highlight of my day.  Because it really would be nice to get away from my cohort and the people I normally surround myself with for a bit.

At this rate, even with roommates, it might be several things, but one in particular might just be that I am around them too much.  That if I'm home, I'm out in the living room with them.  I do everything with them, and I don't have anyone else, really.  And it is just a natural progression for those people to start getting on your nerves (but I do feel as though I'm the only person who understands that this does happen).  It isn't that I dislike them or anything.  It is just I have had an overdose of you so I need to cut back for a bit.  Really, there have been few people in my life where I can be with them so fucking much and not want to strangle them at some point in time.