My plan today is to head out to Barnes and Noble and sit in the cafe area and do work.  Maybe even just having a different setting than home or the office will motivate me to do some work instead of sitting around procrastinating and being angry at myself that I'm not doing work.  It is a weird cycle that I've been having trouble getting out of for the past few weeks now.  And even before, I told myself I would head out right after I ate lunch and that was...two hours ago?  Yeah.  But then I got sucked into Adventure Time and playing games on my phone so now I'm waiting for phone to recharge before heading out.  It shouldn't take too much longer.

Really, I'm probably just looking for reasons to not leave just yet.  Which is weird, because I want to go somewhere else.  ...But I guess the idea of having to go somewhere else and do work instead of going somewhere else to have fun or relax is what is causing my hesitation.

I did mention my recent crisis to one of the roommates, about how I suddenly am thinking that I'm wasting my twenties and that I rushed too quickly into grad school not realizing exactly how much it would suck up my time and energy and everything.

He didn't get the full details, simply because he was about to leave the house...and also because going into the full extent of this problem delves into deeper issues and everything, and I've become very shut in, even to the roommates.  Whereas yesterday they had a nice relaxing evening just chatting and having some drinks before going out to a bar for another drink...I stayed in my own room.  Which was preferable to me.  But this is how I am all the time.

Hell, there is a karaoke thing that a professor organized for this upcoming Tuesday (I have no idea why, really, but she has been all over this thing for a few weeks now), and I know I'm going to have to convince myself to go out and actually do something with the department and all.  Even though I really don't want to.  And then I'm going to be berated for not drinking, probably (this sometimes happens, other times not, truthfully), even though people should know by now that I pretty much do not drink anymore (with the exception of the occasional cruise-like frozen drink, aha).  And maybe I would drink if I were happier or if I was around other people.  Right now I think I'd only drink if I was around college roommate, honestly.  And even then, I probably would stop before getting drunk.

Eh, maybe, maybe not.  She and I always had super good times.

At least agility classes start on Tuesday.