So apparently Murray needs major surgery.  Urgently.  Some of his teeth weren't coming in, so roommate took him to the dentist, and they took x-rays which showed that the canines are growing upward into his skull.  This can easily become infected and it is very serious.  The vet is calling the dental surgeon at Cornell, and trying to get Murray rushed in for surgery.  Obviously, roommate is super worried (and, of course, now I am as well), and if his insurance does not cover the surgery it can cost upwards around $10,000.  I told him that if it doesn't, we can start a fund online and see if people can help out to save the Murster (I like to give the doggies nicknames).  If it comes to that, I will reach out to some of my more tumblr-famous friends and try and get it circulating there.  And of course, put it on facebook and everything.

It is really sad, but unsurprising.  Murray was rescued from a puppy mill before roommate adopted him, and his breed seems kind of rare for the U.S. (at least this part of it).  Puppy mill dogs usually suffer from inbreeding and terrible conditions overall, and so they seem to have more health issues later on.  It is incredibly sad and is another reason why puppy mills need to be eradicated.

Hopefully everything will turn out okay.  I seriously cannot imagine going through this with Callie.  I can't.  (I keep saying that she is going to live forever and I am going to try my damnest to get her to a very very old doggie age.)  If things don't go well...there is a high probability that roommate will take the next semester off, he said.  And I said that that would be completely understandable.  It sucks even more because he is already going through a lot himself, without these issues with Murray.


Unrelated: I am apparently on fire today in terms of my questions to the group and the points I'm making.  Which is weird because I was going through some heavy self-hate before (still kind of going on, despite rocking this class), believing basically that I am a shadow of who I once was, and if my high school self saw me now, she would call me weak and pathetic and all I would want to do is apologize to her.  She would yell at me for allowing myself to fall in love and become gullible and collapse after my relationship ended.  She would be disappointed that I am still affected, and that my work goals are not as well-defined as they should be.  While I still was sad a lot in high school, I was much better.  She would ask and demand why I now can't deal with it.  That when she goes through this self-hate, she sucks it up, puts on the mask, and keeps going.  That her competitiveness and comparing herself to others is what keeps her going and keeps her sharp, whereas I fall and immediately tell myself that I am just not good enough so why even bother.

...I am sorry, younger self.  I am sorry I'm not who you wanted to be.