Sitting in class and instead of paying 100% attention, I'm at maybe 50% that and 50% thinking about all the other shit that I need to do or should do.  For one, need to make my poster for Midwest, which I kind of don't want to go to at all and still need to buy my ticket for.  And I should work on my domestic forces in foreign policy paper since I am presenting an IR workshop next Friday.  I had expected when I signed up that I would have worked on it more than I have, but I stupidly did not anticipate the crushing soullessness and the general apathy that I have been feeling would become so goddamn overwhelming.

I should message my sisters and ask if they wanna do lunch one day this weekend.  That would be a lot of fun, I think.  Though at the same time, updating them on my life isn't as appealing.  I don't really want to admit to my family (really, I don't want to admit it to anyone with the exception of Nancy and this blog) that I am listless and am questioning my job path and my choices and wondering if I should be doing something else with my life.  I don't want to admit that to them.  I'm supposed to be the one that is ambitious and gets more education and has the degrees to show for it and everything.

Truthfully, I thought about talking to my dad about things when I was on the phone with him yesterday, but I decided against it because he sounded so happy and I didn't want to make him sad with all my bullshit that would just worry him and everything.


If I decide to not go anywhere this weekend, I am at least heading down to Ursinus for Airband a week from Saturday!  I think that should be good; I haven't been down to UC in a while, so it should be fun to see people I haven't been able to see in a long time as well as get out of Binghamton for a day or two.  Though I'm not going to bring Callie this time, since I'm going to watch the performances, so I need to ask roommates if they could doggiesit that weekend.  I do want to bring her down one day, but on a day where I am not going to be watching stuff and all.  College roommate was saying that we should go to alumni weekend and I should bring Callie down with me then.  So I might do that and wait until then to bring her down.