Another Thursday.  Another terribly depressing and bleak professionalism discussion.

Luckily though, I asked about the idea of publications outside our main field, and how the constant "you should only focus on your area" advice has made me disillusioned with everything and with academia in general.  At least this prof changed tune a bit from most: he said to just go with things, especially if they are already written due to a class or something like that.

Still though, hearing constantly that relaxing or doing something fun is pretty much a waste of valuable working time gets really horrible and everything.  And it isn't that I won't work hard or anything, but more that...just the fact that I go through times like I have been this week, where all I don't have the motivation to do anything, and instead blow things off to lay around and mope and play D3 and stuff...it gets worrisome to hear that I need to suck it up and just push through.  A lot of times I will and I do (hell, even getting up and going to class and everything is me pushing through most days), but there are times where it is too exhausting to even think about.

Hell, I have no idea how I am managing to pick myself up and go to Albany for Youth and Government tomorrow.  There is a part of me that is still saying that I am going to back out at the last minute, but I also know that my guilt would not allow that to happen.  So I'll just go and hate myself for taking on more than I should (again).  I might need to ask a few times to just take a walk or take some time for myself or something like that.  I don't know.


Airband is coming up, apparently, and I still would like to go.  It has been two years since I've gone, and it would be cool to go and see people.