I still feel weird today and am just not paying any attention in class.

And I still keep thinking about past stuff and about that wolf dream.

And maybe my bitterness shows through; his girlfriend moving across country makes my stomach churn.

But maybe it isn't really about him and I.  Trust me, I would never ever ever trade places with her or have him back at my side.  Rather, it is more about my own worldview and the view of my own status and how pathetic I find myself.

And of course, this idea that neither justice nor karma truly exists, which hurts a bit.  Despite having a - at least what I would like to think is - scientific mind, I used to believe that those things did have some place in the world.

But if he gets to be happy while I contemplate my own demise and how wonderful that might be, then no.  No it doesn't.

Hah, and I wonder where my work ethic has gone.  What's the fucking point of it.

If I am still so affected by someone who is across the nation and who never gave two shits about me, then I am even worse than I thought originally and should just go away forever.


I'm in one of those moods.  It is weird that being with friends only temporarily makes bad thoughts go away and then they come back in full force once they're gone.