Roommate is the friend I have been trying to console throughout his breakup process, and I feel like I'm getting more and more awkward and less and less helpful.  I know his situation fairly well...maybe.  I've been trying to make comparisons with my own breakup, though he and I were in different shoes in terms of our roles in them.  

I have no idea if that makes sense. 

And of course, I will continue being there for him, though...I do sometimes want to run away.  I want to run away and hide in my room or just with my puppy because then I do not need to think about things and I do not need to open myself up when trying to think of things to say.  That feeling makes me just think I am a terrible person.  It has nothing to do with what he is saying, really.  More, it just...it reminds me of the ex.  And our failure.  My failure.  

Plus...there is something possibly in development that scares me, and I do not know how to stop it.  At one point, he said that he has been comparing his girlfriend to me, and I had no idea what to say to that.  It scares me, honestly.  I don't know why, but it really does.  

I just keep thinking about the past, really.  

In other news, at the party, as I was leaving, my professor asked me how much I ate.  I was trying to tell her that I am just very picky, and she looked at me, somewhat concerned, and asked, "Should I be worried?" 

While I laughed and tried to just explain to her my very narrow range of things I like in terms of food, I was a bit nervous inside.  Is it so noticeable that now my professors are talking about it?  

I'm a mess.  But I'm trying to hide it more.