Failure

So my workshop presentation was...okay.

I just was underwhelmed myself, and I imagine everyone else was just as underwhelmed.  There were a lot of data questions I couldn't really answer too well, simply because my paper was a replication/extension on another piece, basically with me adding something into their model to show that their theory does not really hold anymore.  So, I became more versed in my method and explaining the results than about the actual data.

Plus, I was asked a few questions about my theory and my story, and while I thought I was telling one, I must have not been coming across clear enough, because people kept asking me about it over and over.

Bah, I don't know.  I just feel like I could have done far better.


I'm kind of overwhelmed and at a point where I both want to be alone and also still be with friend who needs company and stuff.  I want to help him so badly, but I also have this nagging voice telling me that I am the worst person for him to seek help from.  I have failed more than enough people in trying to aid them through their depression: I failed one of my best friends in high school when she needed me, I failed my ex to the point where he had to leave and seek someone new...

And my own sadness does not help.  I have been trying to ignore it or push it down, but I guess sometimes it is still incredibly obvious to everyone.  Really, it isn't even in the form of sadness, but more in the form of apathy and exhaustion, both physically and mentally.

I'll probably fail him too.  I'm going to try not to.  But given my track record...I won't be of much help in the end, most likely.

Meh.