I'm tired and have no one to talk to so I guess talking to this will be sufficient. Once again this is probably something that should go in my private journal but. I don't know. Sometimes I hope people will see some of this. And maybe help me. And the worst part is that I know all of this sounds emo and overly dramatic, but...it really isn't.
It's not. It's serious. It's a problem. And every time I think it gets better, I'm slammed with this feeling.
I feel sick to my stomach. The reason why this came on all of a sudden escapes me, truly, but it is fucking annoying.
Sometimes I...fantasize. About something awful.
Truthfully...I just want to be able to tell someone everything. Even my drunken hysterical rambling to my friends didn't open the door the entire way. I've never let anyone truly in entirely. I'm afraid to.
I both want to, and don't want to.
Telling someone everything would be...relieving, in its own right.
But telling someone would also expose me, and would probably cause that someone to turn his or her back on me.
I'm weak. I feel hopeless.
If I were religious, I would be praying.
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