I matter to some people.  To my parents, who are the greatest people I've ever met.  Who become concerned and cry when I let them know about things.  Who try to get me to eat when I don't, and I know that they only become annoyed when I refuse because they want me to be healthy, physically as well as mentally.  Who support me in everything I do, and have never been hard on me for anything, including mistakes that I should have avoided, because they recognize that I beat myself up more than I should about the littlest things.

I matter to my sisters.  My younger one, who was very sad about my leaving today after a month at home.  I feel like I should have maybe done more with her in this past month.  I'm sorry I did not.  And my older ones, who love me no less just because they have found their significant others.  I'm happy for them.  I even matter to my brother-in-law and my future brother-in-law, who joke around with me and share interesting things with me that they believe I would enjoy.

I matter to my friends.  To my best friend who lives in Wisconsin right now, whom I miss dearly.  Who skypes me for hours at a time once a week usually to talk about random things in our lives.  To my roommate from undergrad, who will talk to me from South Korea and be my date to weddings and allow me to be hers.  To my high school friend from home, who keeps prodding at me to get Halo 4 so we could play together online and who wants to dress me up in professional clothes when I (hopefully) obtain my doctorate.  To my grad school friends, who I revealed my inner thoughts to and did not run away from me.  One who has called me the coolest girl he's ever met, and the other who ran over to see me and hung out with me all night tonight - the first night I got back.

Yes, I believe I matter even to that guy, at least somewhat, who immediately texts me back when I tell him I'm back in the area, and who will joke with me and will come watch stupid movies with me so we could laugh at them.

So even if I do not matter to some people, I matter to them.  Even if I become sad because some people I used to matter for, I perhaps do not anymore...I am important to some.  And that is crucial for me to remember when I start thinking that if something terrible were to happen to me, that it would not really be a big deal.  Because...perhaps it would.  To those above, it would.

I should remember this more often.  Really, I should.  Because although I may dislike myself, these people love me.

And that really does count for something.