I'm concerned with how little I give a fuck about anything right now.  Especially with my TA assignments.  I'm just getting angry.  Grading the essay, grading the tests, and then grading the final essay.  And I realize that all the other TAs have the same amount of crap and probably aren't bitching about it in the same manner,  but...I don't know.

I don't like not caring about this stuff.  I mean, not about the TA things, but about my other assignments.  Everything is spilling together and I'm becoming more and more apathetic to everything going on.  I need to actually care.  If I don't, I become listless.

School, in its odd way, while both frustrating me and stressing me out, gives me purpose.  I know that probably is weird to hear and say, but this kind of intellectual work is what keeps me going, oddly enough.

So when I really don't care about it at all, I worry.  It might be just that I feel so overwhelmed (on top of still feeling physically awful) that I've started to take this particular approach in order to handle the stress (even though all I'm actually doing is creating more stress), but still.