I was able to move some things to make room for my newest prints.  Soon my entire room will just be covered in nerdy things and I am totally okay with that.  I put some stuff om the back of my door; hopefully they will stay up.  The problem is that I have so many more I want to buy but I really should wait before I spend more money on things I don't...really need.

Heading home tomorrow, even though I am supposed to have class on Monday.  I am planning on asking to skype in again; I definitely should have asked already, but I kept forgetting.  But no matter what, I'm heading home because I just really want to not be here and I would rather be home for around a week rather than only 4-5 days.

On Wednesday, I had a lunch meeting with the professor I'm TAing for next semester, and talked with her about some of the problems I've been having figuring out what it is I like to do.  I told her that I really enjoy analyzing fiction and how I just get super bored really quickly.  She was really encouraging; she expressed to me that there are many different ways to achieve success.  As grad students at a research institution, we receive only a limited vision of what success means.  But she emphasized that this does not encapsulate all types of success.

It was nice to hear that because I have been wondering about other things and wondering if this is really what I want to do anymore.  I'm finding myself less and less willing to do things for my students (because I have found that the more I do for them, the more they take advantage of me).  And I fear my inability to figure out the specialized area I want to study in.

I think I'm especially stressed about this all because this is the one time in my life where I am truly uncertain about my future.  I have no plan, whereas I always had a plan.  For a long time I was going to be a lawyer.  And then when I diverted from that plan, I immediately had a new one - grad school.  For a long time I had a plan about my romantic life also - I wasn't going to have one.  Ex shook that up a bit, and then when he left, the new plan I created went out the window.  But due to how I felt about him, I didn't want to go back to my old plan.  At the same time, I did want to go back to the old plan, because in that plan I never would have gotten hurt.

But my romantic life's plan was not as solid as my career plans.  Having no idea what to do anymore has just had this weird effect on my psyche and I don't like it.  It is out of my comfort zone.

I might need to get used to it for a little bit, while I figure things out.