So today started out okay but then I found out things I'm not too happy with and maybe I'm being a little selfish but I really am kind of upset right now.

My little sister graduated today from high school, and I am very proud of her.  She is incredibly talented in the arts, and creates beautiful pieces and everything.  I am super happy for her and I know she'll keep making awesome stuff in the years to come, and just keep on improving.

However...I was none too pleased when I found out that my parents - without actually really asking me if it was okay - decided to schedule her graduation party on the same day as my birthday.  Yeah, after I had been talking about how my birthday has been less than exciting for the past few years and how - even though not really having any expectations - I wanted it to be a bit more special this year.  Whether it was doing something with my friends up in Binghamton or maybe asking guy if he wanted to come visit that day or trying to see if anyone was playing...I just wanted to do something special for me, because I've been really bummed about my past few birthdays.

And I know a graduation trumps a birthday.  And being on the Island when all my friends are in Binghamton...not exactly the best environment for me, I suppose.

I'm just sad because no one actually asked me if that was okay with me.  They just kind of asked if I had plans already and when I said not right now they just kind of made it that day and I didn't find out until I saw the invites.  So like...no one really thought of me and thought that maybe I would want to do something for me that day.

And I'm really actually very sad about that.  Like.  Really upset.  Like crying in my room upset.

And perhaps I should not be.  I'm probably being really selfish and everything and I don't feel good about being this upset, but I am and I can't help it.

Then, I realized more how protective I am of Callie when my oldest sister said with like...almost a snide tone that her dog's tricks were "so much better."  And I said - with a very annoyed tone in my voice - that she doesn't know anything yet.  She's still a puppy and fuck I have already taught her some stuff and she listens overall very well and everything.  But that offended me probably more than it should have.

And part of me feels as though I've been having to defend her a lot.  People keep talking as if she was the aggressor when she came here and Jack got all territorial and pretty much tried attacking her.  But that's not his fault.  No.  She jumped at him.  She was the one who instigated, even if she was just trying to play.  So let's ignore the fact that even while he growled and barked and tried biting her, she did not return that aggression.  Even though I wouldn't have blamed her if she did.  Nope, she was good and sat and kept wanting to play and did not bark back or anything.  The only time she has barked at him was when he stole her kong toy with treats stuffed in it.  She even shared her antler and everything.

And then people seemed to be equating her nervous actions when no one is around - like making a mess with her food - to that aggression that he had.  Or that it was worse.  So let us forget about the fact that she has separation anxiety and I am trying to help her with that and stuff but she still will act up when no one is home with her.  Let's equate that to him trying to attack her, basically.

Plus I don't know if people think it is all fine because he is tiny in comparison.

Because honestly, if she was concerned about being 'alpha' or anything, which she honestly never is (from what it seems, she doesn't really care about that ranking thing at all; she just wants to play with everyone), she easily could be.  So let's ignore that.  Yep.

I don't know.  It just bothers me.  Let's excuse his bad behaviour and then put it on her, even though she's been incredibly well behaved, minus the few accidents and nervous behaviour.

Ha.  I'm being really anti-social right now.  Hiding in my room and listening to Streetlight because I am that upset about all this.

And people are ignoring my strict rule about no table food for her and laughing about it.  The only person who was apologetic was Steph's friend, and I was okay with that because they were feeding Jack some stuff and I hadn't told her that I don't want Callie to have that and everything.  So she was apologetic and I was fine, since she didn't know.  But everyone else just keeps kind of laughing about it, and I am getting kind of angry.  People just won't listen to me and are acting like I'm too strict when this is what I want to do so she doesn't develop bad habits later on with begging at the table and everything.

I kind of want to drive back to Binghamton.