Mood-wise, this has been an odd past 24 hours or so.

I was actually doing okay yesterday, though maybe feeling frustrated with coding (1991 Madagascar was awful).  I got a decent amount done, though, but perhaps not enough.  I'm not entirely sure anymore.  I keep wanting to avoid thinking about other things having to do with work and school, although I am aware that there are questions in my head that I really can't procrastinate on anymore.  It just is...really...intimidating.

In a way, I guess I feel okay but it is almost empty, if that makes sense.  Like, I don't get any sense of fulfillment from anything I am currently doing at home, which mostly includes me on my computer or something similar.

Really, I realized that I was still feeling unhappy (with just this temporary band-aid on right now) when I was laying with Callie in my bed last night.  All of a sudden, this great feeling of inadequacy washed over me.  This feeling that I have been neglecting her and that I should be doing more with and for her and that I'm just not good enough to have her and that I was sorry.  And I started crying a little, and that feeling just wouldn't go away.  For some reason it just seems like doing simple things to get more active and everything again is very...difficult.  Like it is a hurdle that is too high for me to jump and I can't figure out how to climb it.