Tuesday, August 26, 2014

forgotten post

I love that I can go to my adviser and tell him that while I read the books he gave me, I did not really work on my comps paper over the past few weeks, as I was at home and it is difficult to get in the zone at home and all, but I was able to get through all five of A Song of Ice and Fire, and his response is basically "oh that is okay, just try and do stuff this week, and that is awesome you finished all five, let's talk about that."

And then we talk about Game of Thrones for more than a few minutes.

Nice.


Also I had a nightmare that my oven blew up and it was awful.

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So I started this in the afternoon and never posted it so I guess I'll add to it now with new shit.

For some reason I became extremely sad and just didn't want to do anything later on in the day.  Really, with the perpetual headache that has lasted for more than a few days now, lack of sleep, frustration with watching roommate's pup, and seeing and having to deal a little bit with former guy, I guess things caught up with me emotionally.  And there is the problem of me having been slacking on taking my medication (due to the fact that I was feeling okay for a while and just general laziness about getting back to the pharmacy...both of which I know are bad, especially the former).  

Roommate went away for some tennis thing and so I'm watching his pup, and I am happy to do so since he has watched Callie for me numerous times.  However, it does not make it...less frustrating.  I cannot really complain, due again to him doggiesitting many times for me, but whereas Callie does not seem to make trouble for him, Murray tends to be...well, Murray.  He is very much a punk, in that he likes to do whatever he wants to do and has little to no remorse about it most of the time.  When he does something bad, I do tell him to stop, and he does...for some time, and then goes back to it afterward.  And despite being a year old, he still has constant accidents in the house; he had two yesterday after roommate left, and none today only because I feel like I let him out to pee every 3 hours (or less).  Plus he just...barks.  At everything.  And nothing.  And his bark is high-pitched, since he is smaller.  Normally, this only mildly annoys me, but when I have a days-long headache and few hours of sleep, that mild annoyance turns into full-blown aggravation.  Part of me blames his behaviour on the first few months after he was brought home, when he was learning stuff and was able to get away with everything, partly, I think, because roommate was not so attentive to him (depression-based and stuff).  And now, despite that roommate seems to be trying, he also seems to kind of like Murray acting out in such ways?  I dunno; I think he thinks it is kind of cute because it is Murray's personality.  And sometimes for me it is as well, I will not lie, but only in small doses.

...Maybe I just really miss being alone with Callie.  Plus again...headaches make me less tolerant of everything.

Also, today I had a small encounter with former guy.  It wasn't anything big, really, but it just kind of shows me that he still wants to talk to me despite my not wanting him to?  I went into his office because one of his cohortmates (the new president of the department) asked me to drop something off.  But president wasn't there; I asked a different second-year if he would be back and stuff, and former guy kept wanting to answer, but I kept ignoring him.  I still have zero desire to talk with him or anything, and I do not want him thinking otherwise, to be perfectly honest.  While I will say I don't think about him that much (/at all, most of the time) anymore, when I do think about it, I still get angry, and so I really just want nothing to do with him.

Hopefully he took the hint.

But...yeah.  Sadness kind of took over my afternoon and evening, and even my walk with the pups seemed like a crazy amount of effort.  Hopefully tomorrow will be different.  It might be a good idea to go refill my prescriptions, finally.  And I should email Nancy and tell her I'm back and snag a weekly spot with her during the school year before others start making appointments.

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