Alright, I have a headache right now so this might end up being shorter than I would like.  We'll see.

We got back from Ota last night; my sister drove most of the way back since I was extremely tired and was falling asleep while at the wheel.  I found a rest stop and we switched and I basically slept the rest of the way home (which was good, since we were in traffic for most of Jersey because fuck Jersey).  I unfortunately did not wear my costume yesterday (truthfully I did not wear it as much as I would have liked, so I might recycle it next year or for something else), but I was able to buy a fuck ton of prints.  And I did request a commission from someone; a chibi CG Cornelia and Euphemia from Code Geass because I adore them way too much for my own good.

Reunion with undergrad friends was nice; we went out to this place I'd never been to and was actually not crowded.  We sat and nommed and talked about our work and what we've been up to and everything.  He is a lot of fun.  Sometimes I am tempted to ask him about ex, but that would be...both weird and stupid.  He was ex's best friend in undergrad, though sometimes I wonder if he now talks to me more than him?  And for as much as I think about ex and how much he invades my dreams at night and thoughts in the day, outside of this blog and Nancy and a few choice individuals, I do not really talk about him much.  Sometimes I will allude to him or tell a story here or there but the people I choose to talk about him with are few, and I've been trying to do so less and less in order to put off this vibe that it does not bother me anymore.

After our dinner, we split again so they could make a panel and then later on, little sister and I got in line for a panel set to start at 1:00 in the morning.  Unfortunately there was no room clear in between that one and the one before it, so we had to sit through that as well, and anything that starts with "if you are offended by rape and sexual assault you might want to leave now" is always going to be fantastic (./extreme sarcasm mode).  So sister and I just made jokes the whole time and I played Zelda and got a lot of streetpass and wished I had Fire Emblem with me instead and all that stuff.  The panel we actually wanted to sit in on was well worth the wait through that.

Cons sometimes bring out bad stuff in my mind though.  Usually self-doubt/self-consciousness at the forefront.  I do not believe I have a good face/body/whatever for cosplay, and even things I am proud of I have been able to criticize immediately and always compare myself to the best person I see wearing that outfit.  Rip van Winkle was probably my favourite cosplay to date and I still know that a big reason is due to the gun prop, which I did not even make.  So even when I'm good with the outfit, I'll see pictures and tell myself that my face doesn't fit the character and I'm not pretty enough or in shape enough to be a cosplayer or whatnot.  But I keep doing it because I actually enjoy it at the same time.  It is a weird dichotomy, if that makes any sort of sense.

Plus, as I experienced with the cruise and have experienced for a long time now, high levels of excitement just do not seem to sit with me anymore.  I am excited in name, and I do at least feel some of that when I go to things (which is a huge improvement since last year), but not as much as I wish, if that makes sense.  Plus, I go through weird modes where I am surrounded by people and I want the exact opposite of that and so that is extremely inconvenient.

Then of course, unnecessary stress.  Many people take con-going as serious business, and...well truthfully I was one of those.  But I have become less tolerant of stressful things during contime, so when my brother-in-law is running around taking everything way too seriously and just acting like a genuine asshole for practically the entire weekend, I am going to be annoyed.  I managed to get away from him as much as possible, and the other times when I couldn't and he was being a dick, I called him out on it if I felt it appropriate and/or necessary.

But other than that, Ota 2014 was a success and was enjoyable.  It went by incredibly fast, and I already am thinking about cosplay options for next year.  (Right now, geass-controlled bloody Euphie has been in my mind.)  I might take pictures of my prints, and I am going to actually try to put them up and stuff.  Might do what older sister does and get cheap frames so the actual print does not get damaged.  Whee.