I woke up today at around 8:15, so that I could go to the class I'm sitting in on at 9:40.  However, I woke up feeling not only extremely tired still, but just...emotionally bad.  Like a "what is the point of anything" sort of bad and I just fell back asleep until 11.  And then when I finally woke up I guess I was so out of it in terms of processing things that when roommate B basically asked me to move my car (but did so in a roundabout way, like "oh I didn't want to have to move your car...") I didn't even interpret this as a "please move your car."  I just kind of stared at him and then left with Callie for our morning walk.  Only while I was walking did I think "oh, he probably wanted me to move my car," and then when I got back I did but I guess he left with roommate C since neither one of them were here.  And then I felt bad.

I'm trying to stay excited about my trial class later today but right now the fear and anxiety is kind of overpowering that.  I was awkward as fuck over the phone so they probably think I'm already weird as shit, and then I'm going to have to go and exercise with people who have been doing it for a long time and fhdskjfhdsj.  I'm trying to push all those thoughts out since I know, theoretically anyway, that nothing bad is going to happen, even if those fears come true (which I have been told is that they will not).  But they are just...loud.  And then there is the voice which is saying "you don't feel well anyway; maybe you should call and say you got sick and postpone this," which...I know is just my anxiety trying to figure out ways to get out of it, even though it is legitimately something I know I want to do and was excited about yesterday.

And I have two more assignments to grade and I just don't want to because they will probably suck still and it makes me feel like I'm an awful TA and should never have been chosen to do this.