I've decided that this year I want to participate in Misha Collins' GISHWES in August.  From what I have heard, not only is it a lot of fun, but it is the kind of thing that allows you to be weird and embrace that weirdness in public and I think I could use something like that after this academic year.

Plus, well...the winning team gets a vacation with Misha and while winning is a long shot, it is also something I can think about to force myself to go do some of these things that I would otherwise avoid.  I would love to meet him; he is one of my favourite celebrities, and truthfully I don't have many of those?  I mean, I have people I really enjoy, but Misha is inspiring to me.

I know, I am a dork.  I can't help it.


I haven't put in my request for leave just yet, mostly because I need to write a description of why I am requesting it, and...I'm not exactly sure in how much depth I could go.  What is the right balance?  I don't want to downplay everything in fear of my request getting rejected but I also don't know if I should go into all this other stuff.  Right now my rough copy talks about a bunch of things, and I made sure to mention the mental breakdowns I have had, specifically citing the one that happened in workshop in front of the faculty and my peers.  I went into how I've skipped class because I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed and go, and how my anxiety is making it nearly impossible to go talk to some of the professors that I need to speak with.

And I talked about some other stuff.  Specifically I mentioned the suicidal ideation, but I'm not...sure if I should?  I don't know.  I mean, it is accurate.

Bah, I just went into how I can't think about anything and I can't bring myself to do everything because I am disillusioned as fuck and find little joy in most things (hence, once again, why I become overly attached to fictional stuff).

I'm probably making this harder than it needs to be.