I have no idea what is going on with me.  A relapse, I guess is what I could call it?

I've just been uninspired to do much since I got back from Ota.  I keep writing but it is getting harder and harder to sit down and crank out chapters, despite all the ideas floating around in my head.  (Though I did pass the 50,000 word mark, which is cool I guess.)

I want to work out but have no energy or motivation to do so, really.  And then when I do start, I find it boring due to being by myself, and stop sooner than I should.  I hate the way I look right now, but I can't be half-assed to fix it.

This is probably at least in part because I've been forgetting to take my meds some days.  And also probably because the MMA was what was keeping me active and in shape and without it I've gone back to being a useless blob of shit.

Even gishwhes, which I was so excited for, has me just kind of staring at the prompts being like, "...kay.  I guess I'll do this one."  Which is so frustrating because I know I want to do more of it.  There is one that involves a silly dance that I've been wanting to do, so maybe doing that one will get me back in the game or something, I don't know.

Hell, even my mom, before she left, basically said I don't do anything, especially with regards to cleaning.  I tried to explain to her that things that she finds messy I don't but I guess I just suck at even keeping up a house too.  Sorry I'm terrible at everything.

I just want to stay in bed all day.